Toxic Vibes… And once again finding myself on the wrong end of the spectrum…

Sometimes in life we find ourselves in these toxic situations…

For me, for a long time, that’s been irregular, and now it’s becoming almost a daily occurrence and it’s a very difficult tumor to shift…

Today i just can’t focus, my mind is all over the place, I’ve got a heart beat raging, a hot head, my adrenaline is up and down like a yo-yo and it’s all down to one individual with a toxic attitude towards everything they touch, or pass comment on…

As a guy with enough stigma to contend with I’m pretty used to kicking down walls and pushing boundaries, though i try not to make assumptions where possible, or judge people until I get the sense of who they are individually… Not one for hearsay until I’ve met someone and really understood their human element.

That in mind, I’d still say I can almost look at a person and how they act around others, gauge the nuances and shifts in their attitude that will tell me whether they’re good and kind, or whether there’s something self righteous or ugly in their personality, that I want to distance myself from…

Unfortunately I find myself in an inevitable scenario where I am trapped in a mechanism that breeds anxiety; off the back of someone’s ugliness I’m almost at point of migraine…. jelly legged and erratic in mind, just because the individual is invasive by nature and antagonistic in her approach to anything that upsets the sphere of self importance she’s shrouded herself in… the queen bee in the hive, but sucking the life out of the people in the periphery without a care or consideration… those souls of the surrounds, trapped in a sort of odd limbo…

I just can’t even finish to be honest… signing off for now… I’ve booked myself into a meeting room to avoid the energy, but it doesn’t help me deal with mine, for some reason; and the cure that seemed at the forefront only a few days back, is now just a seed of doubt, as to whether I’m going to make my shift at all…

devil wears prada

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