The Peaks & Troughs of a Renegade!

In every walk of life, in every job, in every scenario, every level of interaction, in every evolutionary chain of events… someone has to be the first over that wall!

Some may call us the mavericks, some may call us renegades; but we just might be the catalyst to change. People are often just too fearful of what that might mean, though in reality it’s primarily more positive than not if you take a breath and look within.

I’ve spent most of my life ostracised because I’m too open. I tell the truth, most often to my detriment and over time I’ve become much better at formatting and honing that truth in many respects, to suit a societal level, but it’s not something the world ever seems ready for.

When we grow and we’re shaped by traditional standard, we’re told to be honest and truthful and ethical and noble. But in reality it’s not always the case, it’s not what people want.

The truth behind the reality is that we’re to be subordinate and to stay the course, but not to detract or to shift momentum, we’re not wished to evolve beyond the blinkers or the happy medium, we are accepted for specific traits as individuals, but no one ever wants the other bits… they just want the bits that help drive the status quo; but very rarely the innovation that spots or forms the unicorn.

My close friends know that I’d go through fire, so that they may not know pain, but trying to craft a sustainable working lifestyle is something that’s always managed to evade me because of the aforementioned.

There’s no doubt I’m a relationship builder… I’ve been successful in every role I’ve ever had, but there’s only so much of the intensity that people can manage for the most part. That’s why I run my own business, something I never wanted…

I’ve had mentors in the past who said I’d be the biggest success they’d ever supported, or the biggest failure… but there would be no grey area.

Personally I believe this to be true to some degree but there’s a raft of inspired individuals that support and devote every ounce of their energy to moving me forward in life and there’s the naysayers.

All I want is to devote myself to something that means something… and to never worry that I might not have enough money to feed and house my family.

I guess that’s what everyone wants… for the most part… aside from the extremities of greed and capitalism. But why can’t I find it?

It’s the honesty…

People don’t want your truth, because it doesn’t serve their positive disillusion or ignorance, it merely highlights the road still to be travelled. Now I’d argue that’s the greatest adventure to be had, but not for all…

David Goggin’s would say “I don’t celebrate mediocrity” and he’s living by the same rule of thumb as I do… If I do something, anything, I’m all in. You’ve got my heart, my love, my energy and focus and all I ask is that you afford me trust and respect. But with all the best will in the world, what seems like the simplest of devotions is seldom to come to fruition, given how life seems to work in modern day business.

Often what you love, what you want for, will be something too great to commit to and even the innovators, the thought leaders, those who offer inspiration, are constricted within the confines of the format they find themselves embroiled in to earn their daily bread.

I try never to be self righteous, there are many in the world who are far worse off than I am and for all that I have I am grateful, I just wish I could sustain the happy! I’m drug and alcohol free, I’m fit, I’ve a beautiful partner and a wonderful son, but I can’t seem to nail down that sustainable vocation that really drives me… everything I do only ever comes in bits and pieces because I’ve run my own business for far to long I’ve been pigeon holed as too “entrepreneurial”

It’s used to be that the world and his wife wanted to shy away from being called an entrepreneur, but I was proud I was one; then a new wave of youngsters all wanted it, they thought it made them worthy of the Dragons Den… and I couldn’t wait to shake the concept from my list of attributes, because I hate anything that’s “in vogue” like being a CEO of a 3 man company… whats that all about? If you’ve not got a thousand staff then you’re an MD. Everyone’s a bloody CEO now… or a NED… #deathbyacronym

That last paragraph is definitely going to get on a bunch of my friends nerves! I have loads of friends who are CEO of their bedroom and I love them for it, I just think it’s overkill… But, call a spade a spade…

I’m keen to know how other people have managed to define their purpose… their fit in the ether that is humanity. I’m constantly looking for answers but I just don’t know if I’m asking the right questions… How did you change your life for the better? People keep telling me I inspire them, but that’s because we’re unhappy… how do we shift that balance?

I know that if we race after happiness then it will continually allude us, as with anything in life, but whats the organic driver? Sometimes it feels like no matter what I accomplish it’s just never making me whole inside!

I genuinely want people to get in touch and tell me what makes you feel whole… because aside all the exciting bits that people attribute to my day to day, I know that beyond the social media the darkness still writhes within me…